52 Questions That Will Change Your Life!

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2011-04-14T14:35:00.000-07:00

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Performance Improvement with NLP

2011-03-05T00:46:00.000-08:00

Malik Mirza has requested:

"Could you pls write some thing on improving performance through NLP for my blog, if you have time?"

Here is my response to the above request.

If I had to specify exactly where I am with using NLP right now, and where I can improve my own performance - it would be in the area of my expectations. I will revisit that at the end of this article.

I will discuss two ways to improve performance using NLP:

1) How to remove or substantially reduce the power of negative beliefs or negative programs running in the unconscious mind

2) How to raise our expectations of our future performance and how things will turn out in the future

(i.e. to think and act more positively on a more regular basis)

But first, some Basic NLP Theory:

Basic NLP theory says that we all filter incoming information through "deletions, distortions and generalisations" in order to better understand the world we live in:

Deletions mean we leave stuff out ("They don't like me." - "Who doesn't like you?")

Distortions mean we lose a bit of accuracy along the way...(“He said this, she said that.")

Generalisations are where we might say "Everything is always going wrong!" whereas it would be more accurate to say, "Sometimes, some things go wrong."

These are all ways of creating a (simplified) “map” of the “territory” we live in, so we can filter the vast amount of incoming data we are constantly bombarded with and simplify it into something we can perceive as our reality.

NLP also tells us "the map is not the territory", i.e. that our perception of reality is merely a map or a model of our actual experience and not an accurate reflection of reality itself, merely our own working version of it.

If you look at an A to Z street map, an Atlas or a globe of the Earth, you know it is a representation or a model and not the real Earth.

This is less obvious with our own perceptions, which we all tend to accept as being accurate.

To us, the way we see the World appears to us to be... the way it actually is. But is it really?

Two people's experience of the same thing can lead them to react in different ways, because their respective maps of the world are different from each others, and so are their perceptions.

The best example I can think of in this regard is where two men had an alcoholic father. One ended up as an alcoholic, and the other didn't. When they were both asked why they turned out the way they did, they both said the same thing:

"I am like this because of my father. He was an alcoholic."

The same experience, two radically different outcomes.

One directly emulated his father's behaviour, the other used him as a "counter-example" and did everything in his power to not end up like him, thus successfully avoiding his father’s (and his brother’s) fate.

1) How to remove or substantially reduce the power of negative beliefs or negative programs running in the unconscious mind

We can all pick up limiting beliefs, emotional triggers and other types of negative programming that can make us feel bad (and thus affect our performance) as we go through life acquiring experience.

NLP gives us the opportunity to study our "Programs" (filters, beliefs, values, rules, scripts and maps) and identify and isolate any limiting or negative programs in order to free us from their power over us.

NLP can also give us the tools to “reconstruct” our experience by removing the deletions, distortions and generalisations, so we can gain a more informed and more accurate perception, a more accurate map of the territory we live in.

I think of negative programming simply as "baggage" and imagine a person running through a busy airport (being late for a flight) carrying loads and loads of excess baggage. Some of it might not even be theirs!

If we can identify this excess "baggage" and “let it go”, it frees us to be happier and more productive, thus boosting our performance ,

i.e. we can catch our flight easier because we can run faster!

One of the first NLP type exercises I undertook was to examine my own negative beliefs. This was after listening to an audio program by Anthony Robbins (Personal Power 2).

A good way to start this process is to simply list as many of your negative beliefs and expectations as you can. Simply write them down in a long list - and then having examined them in detail, write out their exact opposite.

Try to do this as if you are a scientist studying somebody else's beliefs and don't get too emotionally caught up in what you write as if it were actually true...

You might start by stating negative affirmations such as:

Beliefs: “I am useless at spelling.” Or...

Expectations: “Things always turn out poorly.”

All you are trying to establish is which limiting or negative programming [or simply put, self talk] runs in your head which makes you feel annoyed, angry, inadequate or generally makes you feel bad and saps your strength and enthusiasm for life.

Look particularly at any emotionally charged words (e.g. “useless”) and get a sense of how saying this over and over to yourself is likely to make you feel.

Get them out on paper, and they start to lose their power, because once they are actually written down you can start to see how ridiculus some of them are!

(Better still, get a trusted friend or partner to evaluate them as well. You can also swap pages with them and appraise each others. It is easier to be objective with someone else’s beliefs)

For example, if you catch yourself writing something like: "I am a rubbish parent." (which is, of course, a huge generalisation – “When exactly, all the time, always?”) then ask your spouse or partner if this belief is accurate in its current written form.

Hopefully they will say this is untrue (at least most of the time!) and will come up with some examples to prove this particular belief to be inaccurate. You will probably be able to think of some positive examples (e.g. of being a good parent) as well.

Thus if you initially wrote "I am a rubbish parent" you may then write afterwards (after consideration of the actual facts): "I am an excellent parent." Or even: “I am an adequate parent who is committed to improve with experience.” It will be helpful to have evidence to support and reinforce this new positive statement, which will at the same time devalue the original negative statement. Thus we can begin to "rewrite our scripts", "reprogram ourselves", or "recondition ourselves for success".

Anthony Robbins emphasises in his program that we need to condition ourselves for success through daily repetition, rather than just reprogramming ourselves once and expecting everything to be perfect from then on.

So this is an exercise worth revisiting from time to time because it gives you a chance to do a kind of "life laundry" and sweep away any accidental negative beliefs you have unwittingly accumulated along the way.

2) How to raise our expectations of our future performance and how things will turn out in the future

I have heard NLP defined as:

“The study of human excellence.”

Let's start with a pretty big generalisation, which appears to be true in my experience:

It would appear that successful people have predominantly positive expectations about the future and their abilities and they tend to focus on solutions instead of problems...

Whereas less successful people have predominantly negative expectations about the future and their abilities and they tend to focus on problems instead of solutions.

Therefore, the best way to improve your performance is to change your mindset/thinking/self dialogue (i.e. what you say to yourself) from predominantly negative to predominantly positive, (i.e. change what you focus on) AND change the quality of your expectations accordingly.

For example, if you focus on earning just enough money to pay your bills then that's what your subconscious appears to get to work with - you will end up with just enough and no more...

So why not up the stakes, and expect to double your income instead of merely maintain it?

Einstein is quoted as saying: “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”

If you raise the quality of your expectations [and make them believable to you – note this is vital for success], then you can become more conscious in your thinking and in your actions and thus you can proactively choose “success consciousness” rather than allow “failure consciousness” to predominate.

By doing this you are literally choosing and crafting new positive programs to run in your head on a regular basis instead of allowing the old negative ones to run on auto pilot or by default.

P.S. I recently read in Paul McKenna’s Book “I Can Make You Happy” that by putting coloured dots around your house you can train yourself to think positively more often.

Simply see the dot, and think a positive thought each time you see it. That’s it!

Regards

Neil Paddock

Certified Accountant, Certified Hypnotherapist, NLP Master Practitioner, Member of the Institute of Interim Management

http://www.dareiidream.co.uk

http://52questionsthatwillchangeyourlife.blogspot.com

http://www.facebook.com/neil.paddock1

27^th February 2011

Developing The Genius Principle - "Pareto Cubed"

2010-08-30T09:21:00.000-07:00

As a follow up to my previous blog entry, I have been considering how best to apply the 80:20 principle.

It then struck me that you should be able to apply the 80:20 principle to itself.
i.e. if you concentrate on the top 20% of the top 20% you should gain an additional benefit, in terms of being able to generate 80% of 80% of your results.

This translates into 4% effort yields 64% results.

In our original scenario (which I will call "Pareto 1")
20% effort yields 80% of your results, a four fold multiple.

Pareto Squared
4% effort yields 64% of your results, a sixteen fold multiple.

And if that wasn't enough, what about Pareto Cubed?

Pareto Cubed tells us that(0.2 x 0.2 x 0.2) Effort Yields (0.8 x 0.8 x 0.8) Results
i.e. Approx 1% yields 51.2% of your results.
A sixty-four fold increase!

Assuming a forty hour working week, that simplifies approximately to :

20 minutes of effort (per week) gives you 20 hours worth of results!

So how would that work in the real world?

Let's assume you had 100 items on your To Do list.

With Pareto 1 you home in on your top 20 activities.

With Pareto Squared you home in on your top 4 out of your top 20.

With Pareto Cubed you home in on your top 1 out of your top 4 out of your top 20.

My belief is that every genius you can think of has applied the Pareto Cubed principle. Single minded focus on a single goal. The ability to stick with it and screen out everything else which does not support that specific key activity.

Bill Gates comes to mind with his passion for computer software. Beethoven, and many others appear to follow the criteria.

The ability to consistently act upon the most critical and value added activities to support your most critical goal.

Geniuses appear to be totally absorbed by their passion, they love what they do.

Here's my suggestion for 4 things to help you apply Pareto Cubed to your major goal.

L.O.V.E. it!

L is for Leverage
A genius will use maximum leverage to get what they want. Other people's brains, other people's money - all to pursue what they love doing most. They have a burning desire to achieve great things in their chosen field, i.e. to be the very best in the world at what they do.

O is for Organised
Meticulously organised, with a defined (constantly improving) process to build their expertise in their chosen field.

V is for Value
Always seeking to add more value, through initiative, creativity and imagination. A world beater.

E is for Enjoyment/Enthusiasm
Always seeking to get the most enjoyment out of their work or more aptly, their life's mission. Work is simply play to them. They have bucket loads of enthusiasm for what they do.

If we are not currently maxed out in these areas, then striving to improve and be more effective in each of these areas will start to build genius.

PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS - How do I start?
The best tips I have come across to date which fit the profile for this are from Earl Nightingale "Lead The Field" and "The Strangest Secret" and Brian Tracy "The Psychology of Achievement".

The technique is called "Mindstorming" and consists a writing out the challenge you face in the form of a very specific question, and then forcing yourself to write 20 answers to that question.

Let's create a question for the sake of illustration:

How do I become the undisputed leader in my chosen field within 3 years?

1) Write 20 answers to your question
2) Evaluate them
3) Prioritise them

Now simply choose the most important one from your list of 20 items and get started!

Good Luck!!!

Let's remember to apply the 80:20 Principle...

2010-08-21T07:32:00.000-07:00

Recently I was listening to an interview about the application of the eighty twenty principle by Richard Koch.

http://www.the8020principle.com/

Essentially, the 80:20 principle says that:

20% of our activities will produce 80% of our results.

All we have to do is know which 20% yields the 80% of the results.

It implies that if you can define this with certainty, we could do the top 20% of all our productive work in 1 one day a week and get a four times the return (80%) on our efforts - as 20% effort yields 80% of the results.

It also implies that we currently spend 4 days a week out of 5 doing stuff which is of little or no value - e.g. 80% of our time yields only 20% results.

[There are even some people who talk about the 120:20 rule, where some unfortunate people are putting in 120% effort and only getting 20% of the results!]

It has since occurred to me that an eightball is a good symbol to represent how we should apply the eighty twenty principle in our lives. The black part of the eightball represents the 80% we don't have to bother with - those things we need to consciously avoid doing or filter out.

The white circle with the "8" on represents about 20% of the total surface area of the ball. It even has a "8" in the middle of it to remind us that we stand to benefit by getting 80% of the rewards by concentrating on 20% of our activities.

Focusing on the white dot in the middle of the ball suggests to me that by focussing on our target, our core activities and priorities we stand to yield the greatest results - as long as 1) we know what we are aiming for and 2) that we don't allow ourselves to get off track and end up "majoring in minor things".

In "First Things First" and "The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People", Stephen R Covey describes 4 time quadrants categorised by urgency and importance.

He puts forward that the most important quadrant is that which is Important, Not Urgent (Quadrant Two = QII). This also happens to be the most difficult quadrant to spend time in, as you have to make time to stay in there - it does not demand your attention.

You have to act on QII, it doesn't act on you. It's not urgent. We all have a tendency to fall prey to "the tyranny of the urgent".

I would like to suggest that the white area on the eightball represents our Quadrant II Activities, our most important roles goals and targets.

Let's look in a bit more detail at the implications of the 80:20 principle.

Let's explore the principle that the top 20% of people in a particular industry or calling get 80% of the financial rewards. Mathematically, the rewards from being in the top 20% are staggering.

For our first scenario, let's take £10, and distribute it equally among 10 people. Each person would receive £1. All the rewards have therefore been distributed evenly.

Now let's apply the 80:20 principle to the same pot of £10.

Suppose you are in the top 20% and you get 80% of the Reward.
That means that in this example, 2 people would end up with a total of £8.
That's £4 each.

Now let's look what the remaining 80% get. 8 people share £2. That's 25p each.

So in conclusion, if you get into the top 20%, your £4 is 16 times greater a reward than the 25p you would get if you were in the 80%.

SIXTEEN TIMES GREATER REWARDS FROM BEING IN THE TOP 20%.

WOW!

Richard tells us this a scientifically proven principle and it appears to me that capitalism depends on it.

e.g. The US has 80% of the world's wealth.

The top 20% of people in the US own 80% of the wealth in the US, and so on.

The other thing to consider with an eightball is that it is the most important ball in the game of pool. Potting it automatically wins you the game, or loses it for you, depending on the circumstances.

To win the game of pool, you need to nominate your pocket, that is, you have to name the specific pocket you are going to put the eightball into before you play your shot.

If it accidentally goes in the wrong pocket, or you forget to nominate it before playing your shot, then

YOU LOSE!

Similarly, to win the game of life, you need to nominate your pocket as the pocket that wealth flows into and stays in, as opposed to allowing somebody else to nominate their pocket at your expense.

If you allow your wealth to flow into the wrong pocket (e.g. somebody else's)

YOU LOSE!

It therefore logically follows that we have a compelling argument to apply the 80:20 principle as often as we possibly can, and to strive to consistently be in that top 20% of people (or above) in our industry or calling.

Game on!

Neil Paddock
http://dareiidream.co.uk

5 possible choices we all have right now:

2010-08-13T14:40:00.000-07:00

Here are 5 possible solutions to a problem you are currently experiencing...

1. Accept it
2. Ignore it
3. Get the hell out of it
4. Look for the lesson in it and learn from it
5. Decide to create something better and get on with it!

http://bit.ly/d4ruTa

Practical Applications of Self-Hypnosis

2010-08-01T11:39:00.000-07:00

We touched on Self-Hypnosis briefly in our recent Comfy Chair Interview.

Here is a bit more on the subject from Chapter 13 of

A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO SELF-HYPNOSIS by Melvin Powers

With hypnosis on the march, there is practically no limit to its uses in the field of medicine, and new applications are being discovered every day. It should not be necessary to add, however, that some of these uses should remain as they are—in the hands of professionals with years of experience in the area. One of the themes of this book has been that laymen should use hypnosis discriminately and intelligently. No responsible therapist would ever recommend masking or removing a symptom which was indicative of organic disease. For that reason, the practical uses of self-hypnosis will be limited to measures that can be taken safely by the layman. The only possible exception to this will be instructions on how to curb obesity, but even here it is suggested that a physician be consulted before embarking on a weight-reducing program.

The foremost use of hypnosis has been for relaxation, and it becomes more and more important as world tensions, anxiety and strain increase daily and millions seek vainly to "get away from it all." Inasmuch as all methods of hypnosis discussed in this book utilized relaxation as the first step, it should not be necessary to go over this material. Simply review the many induction techniques.

Lung cancer has become a very real threat to many people today, and the professional hypnotist is besieged with men and women who wish to curtail or quit smoking. This is easier said than done because smoking, although there are no physical withdrawal symptoms when one stops, is a strong, conditioned reflex and cannot (except in rare instances) be accomplished by the will alone. The best way to stop smoking is to make it an impossibility, and that is exactly what you do when you follow the method touched on in an earlier chapter.

All of us have tasted or smelled certain foods or medicines that nauseate us. The subject who wishes to quit smoking is asked to conjure up the vision and the actual taste and smell of the substances which upset his stomach and offend his nostrils, transferring its properties to cigarettes. This, of course, must be done under hypnosis. The subject then conditions himself in the following manner: One ... This cigarette tastes and smells just like (mention name of repugnant substance). Two ... It is the most vile and repugnant taste I have ever encountered, and I shall not be able to continue after the third puff. At the third puff, I will develop a paroxysm of coughing. Three ... I cannot smoke the cigarette any longer, and I will have to put it out.

This sounds like a simple procedure, and yet it has worked for thousands. Some switch to chewing gum or candy, but the cure essentially lies in substituting one conditioned reflex for another. This is comparatively easy with hypnosis because, unlike narcotics, barbiturates or alcohol, smoking is purely a psychological addiction. There is no need for tapering off.

Stopping drinking, unlike smoking, doesn't involve merely the creation of a physical aversion to the drug. The patient's entire personality should be changed and more mature viewpoints substituted for the unrealistic and infantile viewpoints which lead to the addiction in the first place. The subject should give himself suggestions that he will be able to "face up" to the problems of every day life without recourse to the crutch of alcohol. It is a well-known fact that nothing is as bad as we think it is going to be once we confront it.

FREE Tips To Be Happier, Healthier and Wealthier

2010-07-28T13:54:00.000-07:00

If there’s one key piece of advice you could offer our listeners, based on your own experiences to date, to help them to become happier, healthier and wealthier on a consistent basis, what would it be?

1) Never stop believing you can achieve your dreams. Never give up on them. Believe in yourself, your talents and your dreams. Become confident through taking action. Some people think “I’m not going to take action ‘cos I don’t feel confident”. That’s not the way it works – You take action, and then you get the confidence.

2) Never doubt yourself, if you are wrong, which you will be from time to time, you can always apologise later. Go with your gut instinct, and don’t allow yourself the luxury of dwelling on negative thoughts. Deal what you need to deal with. Take the appropriate action, and get back to focussing on your goals.

3) You can’t expect to become something if you are not doing it on a regular basis– Simply do more of what you want to become, and make time for your most important goals every single day. Simply set a time to have a meeting with yourself and as Peter Thomson advises: Have an agenda AND stick to it! Keep promises to others and especially keep promises to yourself!

4) Take responsibility for your own life and your own happiness – I can’t emphasise that enough really - No one else can do it for you. Avoid blaming yourself and others and making excuses. As Ken Blanchard would say: "Discover the power of No Excuses!"

5) “Follow your passion, not your pension.” Do what you were put on this planet to do. You know what it is. Really.

6) As Richard Branson Says: “Make Every Second Count!”

7) We have all heard the expression "Life is a journey, not a destination." Really embrace it. Surely the key is to enjoy the journey, enjoy the experience. Be in and enjoy the present moment.

8) Adopt Steven Covey’s Eighth Habit: “Find Your Voice, and encourage others to find theirs.”

Extracted from the Comfy Chair Interview on Neil Paddock's Wordpress Blog:

http://bit.ly/gJ6xKH

Welcome to the "52 Questions" Blog...

2010-07-11T00:38:00.000-07:00

Hi and Welcome! My name is Neil Paddock, of
Dare II Dream Hypnotherapy based in King's Lynn, Norfolk, England.

Thank you for visiting this site. It has been created especially for subscribers to "52 Questions That Will Change Your Life".

"52 Questions That Will Change Your Life" is a completely FREE 52 week course, e-mailed to you in weekly installments, which has been specifically designed to allow you to take greater control over the things you want most in your life NOW in just 5 minutes a day.

You can sign up for this NOW by clicking on the link to the right where it says "Subscribe to this FREE 52 week course".

Please take a moment to seriously consider using this as a tool to help you to achieve what you really want the most over the course of the next 12 months to make this your best year yet!

What is it about?

You will receive a question from me once a week which you will be required to provide 3 answers to every day. From those 3 answers, pick 1 that you can take 1 action towards the same day. Thus you will have 7 actions to achieve each week. Then the process is repeated with a new question sent to you the following week.
You will be encouraged to keep a journal of your answers and actions.

The course is designed to cultivate important daily habits that will help you to achieve what you want most over the coming year, by allowing you to set your initial targets and then work towards them on a daily basis in the most fun way possible.

And the cool thing is...

You are the designer, the instigator and the creator. You get to design the next year in the way that works for you best!

I really value your feedback on the course, both good and bad, especially if you can think of any ways for it be improved.

The 1st 13 weeks are already available to you just by subscribing at the link on the right.

I shall be working through the course myself at the same time and will be posting here as I gain insights from the daily process myself.

I would sincerely like to thank you for visiting this site and I am really looking forward to working with you on your most important projects this coming year through this FREE course and hearing all about your breakthroughs and success stories!

Please feel free to leave your comments here and you can also post at our Dare II Dream Forum under the new sticky at the following address:

http://diid.8.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=11

Unlock your unlimited potential!

With my compliments,

Neil Paddock CHt. MNLP FCCA MIIM
Certified Hypnotherapist
Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming (N.L.P.)
Certified Accountant
Member of The Institute of Interim Management
Dare II Dream Hypnotherapy
For Safe, Lasting Changes
http://www.dareiidream.co.uk